When The Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going Friday, Jun 17 2011

When I weather an emotional storm it feels like the next thing that happens just has to be good. I mean, c’mon, don’t I deserve something good after what I’ve just been through? Then, when I get delivered the next saga of the storm, I wonder how this happened. I just went through something big, isn’t that enough? Why is life being so unfair?  What did I do to deserve this? I rack my brain trying to figure out what past karmic action I’ve participated in that has caused the unfolding of a series of unfortunate events.

All the while, I am missing the point of what is going on.  I have to change my thinking to the belief that my higher power does not create negativity in my life for payback from past actions. These things are put in front of me because this is what life is about. Life is not all good and life is not all bad; if I didn’t know the bad, I couldn’t know the good, or the very least, I couldn’t appreciate it fully. I have to look at what is going on my life that is working and it’s a great time for me to look back to the very beginning of my journey in sobriety and see just how far I’ve come. I may not be brimming with a generous amount of gratitude but I can force myself to look at what I have to be grateful for. Just because the feel-good feelings did not happen in my time doesn’t mean they won’t happen.

I notice if I keep looking at things like “this is just so unfair!” or “why can’t I just catch a break?” life keeps happening and even the smallest things that do not go my way fuel my fire and exacerbate my situation. These are things that on a “normal” day do not bother me beyond a small bit of annoyance.  This is my higher power’s way of saying, “slow down, you are moving too fast!” Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake, even the things I do not care for. Through all of these seemingly hopeless situations, I have learned a great deal about myself and have been able to work out my “recovery muscle” to build the fortitude I will need to face the next situation that comes my way.

I just have to remember that this too shall pass and that as long as I do not take a drink or pick up a drug, I will be able to get through the situation that much stronger.

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Class Is In Session Tuesday, Feb 15 2011

Is there ever any particular spot where one can put one finger and say “It all began that day, such a time, and such a place, with such an incident?”  Agatha Christie

When I stumbled upon this question it prompted me to think if I could pin point the day, time and place when addiction consumed my life. Not even consumed, but began to make an appearance. There certainly were events that made me want to change, (which I couldn’t do alone) or mornings that I said I will never do that again (which it took 10 years to actually never do that again.) What is uncertain however is when I became an addict…The precise moment in time.

After coming to the conclusion that I cannot pin point that moment, I started thinking of other impactful moments in my life. While reliving those moments, it inspired me to write everything down in a time line; From where I was 10 years ago to where I am today.  Hours later, a box of tissues, and the timeline of my life of the last 10 years staring right back at me I came to realize that every moment, good, bad, boring or exciting all flowed right into one another.

I remembered my reactions to events, my actions that caused specific events, and what events happened next due to those reactions and actions. Each of those moments only enhanced the flow which is my life to sail me into the next ocean of life lessons.

Lessons. I say that because after doing this exercise I decided one thing. That one thing is this…Each morning I want to wake up and learn. Every day will be a class, and the end of the day report card can be nothing but an A+.As people in Recovery we all became students and teachers at the same time. We learn from one another’s failures, and accomplishments. We teach one another how to love, let go, forgive and improve our lives by sharing our experience strength and hope. Lessons are being given to us each day, and if we are receptive, and aware of these lessons then we can give ourselves an A+. It is when we pass that course that we will flow into the next lesson.

Not a single glass of wine, pill, loaded syringe etc made us decide to become sober. They merely played a role in making the decision to desire a life of sobriety. All we can do is reflect on a specific experience and label it a turning point. As, each of these experiences played a significant role in our lives past and present, it guarantees us this…Another nudge towards a future of unlimited possibilities, along with the ability to gain more strength with every stumble. 

As a challenge, keep this in mind. Every day is a class. Be eager to learn, and pass the lesson. Make it a point to be the student over the teacher, unless someone is willing to learn.

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Caution:May Contain Poisonous People Thursday, Feb 3 2011

We have taken the poison out of our body, but have we taken it out of our lives? What I mean by that is, do you surround yourself with poisonous people? Really think about that. Coming to grips that you may have to let go of someone who you gave a lot of yourself to is tough. Tough isn’t even an adequate word. For some, realizing this is easy. For others it takes time to not only realize that it is important, but to admit that certain people are poison to their recovery. This is especially difficult for the Codependent. When active in our addiction we were poisonous people. We also then became dependent on other poisonous people for support, encouragement, and love. Now, not every former addict alcoholic is codependent, but a large portion.

The poisonous person is a magnet for the Codependent, and the cycle of codependency is vicious, painful, and tiring. It is another addiction…an addiction to people. Understanding codependency is an eye-opening experience. Just as you found fellowships in the room of AA, NA, CA, etc. There are also fellowships for Co dependents known as CODA. You will once again get the reminder that you are not alone when battling the venom of another human being. Part of winning that battle is determining your part in it all. Anyone in recovery from drugs and alcohol has more than likely heard the term “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” This can be applied to relationships as well. Poisonous people come in all sorts of forms.

Some top runners are:

• The Liar: Never honest. Period. Not to you, themselves, or anyone they associate with. They fake everything. They will say your hair looks good really when it looks like a tragedy.
• The One Upper: These people will always have to outbid you on everything in life. If you can run three miles they can run four. They will never let you have your moment, without them sharing it.
• The Popper: These people pop any possibility, dream, or achievement you have. They will diminish your confidence faster than you can blink.

 

Codependent or not becoming involved with poisonous people is damaging, and all of these relationships become a chest game. What I mean by that is, the poisonous people we have allowed in our lives eventually figure out how you work, and make the relationship a game. The playing board: Your heart. This “game” can happen regardless if a person is codependent or not. Everyone has a natural competitive side, and whether you’re addicted to the person, the game, or both it is time to get out. Especially as a person in recovery. Just like battling an addiction with drugs or alcohol the only way you win is to surrender. You won’t win any other way. Plain and simple.

Yes, it’s painful and heartbreaking to let go of a person, sometimes even frightening, but you will only prolong the pain every time you are let down or put down. From personal experience I know this: Nothing can MAKE someone love me more. Trust me I tried. The only thing I gained was a load of resentment, and what I lost was time that I can’t ever get back. I believe it is hard to pull the plug on a person for this reason. You must come to terms that someone you love and care for, doesn’t love or care about you. So to avoid removing the toxicity from our lives, we try to make them care, by doing things, giving time, pretending to like football when we really hate it. Intern losing ourselves, and when we lose ourselves that’s when we lose everything important.

By doing this we devalue ourselves. Once a person feels worthless they don’t care, and not caring is what was going one while in our addiction. It is time for you to do a full analysis of who you choose to surround yourself with. Not making one single excuse… “But he was there when I was in my addiction and sent me to rehab, he really loves me.” “She was my best friend, and still hangs out with me sober.” “I did caused so much pain that, what I’m feeling couldn’t amount to what I caused” EXCUSE, EXCUSE, EXCUSE. Forget the past, and what DID happen. It’s about what’s happening now. How you are feeling at this exact moment, and what you will continue to feel if things don’t change. More importantly, what feeling you may try to numb, if the toxicity is still in your life.

Just because you no longer associate with a person who you once partied with, doesn’t mean that those you have in your life today are good. Poisonous people know the game, and they love it, because it makes them feel important. Each time you let them reenter into your valuable life you then give them the go ahead to walk out again without consequence. They know that you have made them the center of your world, and that they have gained power over your emotions.

These people are sick, and as a person in recovery you can no longer afford to have a sick person in your life. You are who you surround yourself with, if you are around a sick person, you will then develop the illness. This illness will show symptoms of resentment, dishonesty, control, chaos, manipulation. As I am sure you know, these are all high risk symptoms that will steer you away from success as a recovering addict alcoholic.

Constant chaos came along side of a life of active substance abuse addiction. When we put the drugs and alcohol down, living life without chaos is somewhat confusing. These poisonous people are the perfect way to bring that chaos back into our lives, and it happens almost subconsciously. It has been said “To be aware is to be alive” so become aware, fully aware of who is in your life today, why, and if they truly deserve to be there. Once again, with no excuses.

Anyone that you give your time to should deserve it, and earn it. Don’t diminish yourself, because you feel as if it is owed. Enhance your life in recovery by sharing it with those people who want you around, because as hard as it may be to grasp, some people just don’t. What they want is to feel important, and you help them to achieve that every time you put your feelings aside, and pave the pathway to walk right on over you. So, start paving your own pathway away from the poison, and toward those people and places that truly want, and will appreciate your time. Ready, set go. It’s your time.

 

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Supporting and Encouraging Recovery. What Our Current Administration Plans To Do, and What You As A Person In Recovery Needs To Do. Thursday, Dec 2 2010

In 2010 President Obama has had his focus on creating better strategies for the Drug Policy in the United States. Back in September the President wrote an official proclamation to proclaim September as National Recovery Month.He has come out and addressed the issue by stating:

” The Obama Administration is proud to express its support for those living healthy and productive lives in long term recovery. We applaud those working to help struggling Americans break the cycle of abuse, and we encourage those in need to seek help.”

The efforts of the current administration should be applauded, but some may question the difference between this and past major drug awareness campaigns.

For example Back in 1980 Nancy Reagan launched her “Just say no” campaign, which educated children about the effects of drug use. This campaign also provided a simple and effective way of refusing an offer to partake in drug use; “Just say NO!” During the height of her campaign drug use in high school students and young adults dropped rapidly.

A study was done by the University of Michigan that showed High School students using:

• Marijuana dropped from 50.1% in 1978 to 36% in 1987, to 12% in 1991
• Psychedelic drug use dropped from 11% to 6%,
• Cocaine dropped  from 12% to 10%,
• Heroine dropped from 1% to 0.5%

Years later the numbers once again started increasing. Whether it be due to disinterest, lack of concern by the American population, or losing momentum; stability in keeping the numbers low should be a priority.  Clearly, awareness of the harmful affects of drug abuse are known. Everything from commercials to awareness groups have been created to publicize this information. The end result being… telling people what they already know.

With the efforts of the current Administration the attention has been moved to a different focus. Instead of shedding light on what can happen when abusing alcohol or drugs, the attention has been changed to; Here is what to do when you have a problem.

Finally, people can be educated on a solution.

That solution can be found in the 2010 Drug Control Strategy. Among other things, the strategy has included the following statement. Also included is an outline on the plan to educate those who already find themselves living with the most harmful effect of any drug…Addiction.

“Integrate Treatment for Substance Use Disorders into Health Care, and Expand Support for Recovery: For millions of Americans, substance use progresses to a point where brief interventions are not sufficient to promote recovery. Addiction treatment can be a critical—even lifesaving—resource in such situations, but only if it is readily available and of high quality. Making recovery possible is, therefore, key to effective drug control, and the Obama Administration’s Strategy focuses on:
••Expanding addiction treatment in community health centers and within the Indian Health Service
••Supporting the development of new medications to treat addiction and implementation of medication-assisted treatment protocols
••Improving the quality and evidence base of substance abuse treatment, including family-based treatment
••Fostering the expansion of community-based recovery support programs, including recovery schools, peer-led programs, mutual help groups, and recovery support centers”

The expected results by 2015 being:

• Reduce the rate of youth drug use by 15 percent
• Decrease drug use among young adults by 10 percent
• Reduce the number of chronic drug users by 15 percent
• Reduce the incidence of drug-induced deaths by 15 percent
• Reduce the prevalence of drugged driving by 10 percent

Now the question is…will this work?

Will offering a solution to those who may not be aware of one create a decline in current statistics? You be the judge…

What do you feel could or should be done to reach those in need of  this knowledge?How do we reach those walking in the path we only look back at as a reminder of where we came from? Now its time to find our solution on how to bring light and educate

• The addict that is in acceptance of their addiction, but don’t know they have the resources available. While also lacking hope that there is different possibility then what they have made their reality.
• As well as the addict that is in denial about their addiction; fully believing that anything troubling in their life is due to circumstance, or is the fault of someone else.

For those in recovery a sense of compassion is felt for still suffering addict. It is strongly encouraged to read the 2010 National Drug Control Strategy, so you can then can pass on the gift of knowledge to the addict that is still lacking information and encouragement on how to make the most important step of their life.

 

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What Would You Like To Tell Washington? Thursday, Sep 30 2010

First off, Women In New Recovery would like to extend a huge Thank You to everyone who attended our event on September 25th! Seeing everyone who came was an incredible gift. We sincerely Thank You!

At the even Patty spoke on a very important issue, regarding how Government Officials treat those with Substance Use Disorder (SUD). Yes, addiction as a whole has become much more accepted in communities, and awareness has come a long way. There is still much to be done.

As someone in recovery, and knowing the struggles, and mountains that need to be conquered, your voice truly does matter. It is time that our Government Officials hear our voice, and listen to our thoughts, and opinions, because we do know best.

There was an activity at the Recovery Event that allowed those who wanted to share their feelings,and opinions,  to write “What they would like to tell Washington.” Watching those who chose to participate, express their heartfelt opinions was enlightening.  It was evident at that moment how powerful just a few opinions can be.

Here are a few of the statements that were written…

“We need more funding for woemen and children who need recovery. Several women do not seek help because they have children at home, and fear if they seek help they will lose thier children.”

“Go after pharmaceutical companies!! Regulate! Women are lacking in funding for rehabilitation for themselves and their children. Lengthen the amount of time for their recovery in severance hearings. Provide Childcare for women in recovery! More treatment/12 step programs in the jails. Put a stop to medicating juveniles, and give them the treatment they need!”

“N.A. works, support groups work! Jail is not the answer to all drug related problems! It need to be looked at by drug addicts!”

“Thank you for the changes- we still need buy in, especially in Arizona! Even though we are a “Red State” please don’t forget us!Arizonians NEED you to hear this message!”

We would love to hear your thoughts as well! So, here is the question….

What Would YOU like to tell Washington?

Leave a comment, and voice your opinion, and be a part of the change!!!

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2010 – Join the Voices for Recovery: Now More Than Ever Wednesday, Sep 22 2010

                                            

Lets think about this years National Recovery Month observance theme…

“Join the Voices for Recovery :Now More Than Ever.”

That is pretty profound…

Everyone in recovery has a different story. A story that is worth passing on to the next person struggling with addiction. Awareness of substance abuse has tremendously grown over the past 21 years. Throughout the years recovering addicts, and alcoholics have taken many strides to help spread the message of addiction. Still today many have trouble opening up about their addiction.This is why I find the theme so profound.

Not only has the matter of addiction become more recognized as a disease, not a choice. With the help of those in Recovery uniting and bringing awareness to the matter, those hiding in shame of their addiction now have found pride in what they have battled.

Now another opportunity has present itself to once again bound together and put a voice on recovery.  With your participation in National Recovery Month, you are able to motivate those still seeking the courage to ask for help. Or, to encourage those that fear what others may think to stand up right next to you.

It is time to embrace what we have been through, and share our experience, strength and hope with all. Now more than ever!

 Join Women In New Recovery for their 7th Annual Walk and Rally in honor of National Recovery Month.

September, 25th, 2010

Between 2:00pm-6:00pm 

Located at: 860 N Center St,  Mesa, Arizona 85251

Also, to find other Recovery Events throughout the nation visit:

www.recoverymonth.gov

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